Friday, November 20, 2015

Why The Refugee Situation Is A Defining Moment and The Chance to Prove We’ve Grown As a Nation




A few years back, I had the privilege of employing some Bhutanese refugees from Nepal. These women had literally grown up in refugee camps after fleeing the violence and persecution of the supposedly peaceful buddhist regime of Bhutan.  The regime and their supporters did not accept the cultural and religious differences of the Hindus who lived in the southern regions. Their prejudice led to intolerance, which then led to discrimination, then violence and finally resulted in them being driven from their homes and farms, many beaten and even killed. They fled to neighboring Nepal, where they were allowed set up refugee camps.

Now, when I say camps, you should know that these were not lovely tents with running water and air conditioning or heat. They literally lived in mud huts of their own making and went into the forest to hunt and forage for food. They and their parents were in the camps so long because the Nepalese government refused to offer them citizenship and the international community debated and argued for years before Canada and the US stepped up to take them. Even then, the process was extremely slow and arduous and in the end, those who were able to work here had to come first and then pave the way to bring their elderly parents, all the while, hoping that they would be able to jump through all the right hoops and earn enough money before time ran out and one or both of their parents died in the camps.

What many people don't know about refugees who come to the United States, aside from the arduous screening process, and I certainly didn't realize until I came to know these women, is that in many cases, even the charities (in their specific case a Christian charity) require REPAYMENT of most or all of the relocation fees such as airfare (which is not discounted and in most cases as much as a first class ticket). This meant that each of them, husbands, wives, and children, began their new life in the U.S. with a substantial debt over their heads of thousands of dollars and in many cases, tens of thousands of dollars. In this case, the husbands were employed by Goodwill for minimum wage and I'm sorry to say, sometimes taken advantage of from a labor perspective because of their poor understanding of labor laws and their genuine and deep fear of making any waves and being sent back. (As a side note, they initially attempted to buy some things at Goodwill, until the supervisors there arbitrarily decided to make a new "rule" that employees AND THEIR FAMILIES were not allowed, EVEN IN THEIR OFF HOURS, to shop at the store. This resulted in me going in "undercover" to purchase things for their homes based on their descriptions.)

My friends were placed in the same housing complex as five other refugee families, 30 miles northwest of where a much larger group of I believe about 6,000 were living in Decatur, Georgia.  They lived in an impoverished and crime ridden area of town--the police were called to their apartment complex on a daily basis for guns, knife fights, drug busts, etc., but they were grateful for having an actual roof and running water and they never complained. Again, I can not stress enough the very real fear they had of making "trouble" and being sent back. They were always aware that their being here was conditional and despite my attempting to explain to them that they too had rights, they were guided by this fear.

The families worked diligently to make their tiny apartments homey and as nice as possible with the small amount of money they had. They laid inexpensive bamboo mats all over the carpets, which they were not used to and did not like. They gathered together nightly, on weekends and cultural holidays for tea and meals, and shared any and all resources to help one another survive, watching each other's children, buying groceries in bulk together, sharing one car amongst five families, the list goes on. Through it all they were always thankful--so thankful--constantly bringing me and others who helped them little gifts of food or apologizing for any perceived burden they imagined they had caused.

I could tell you many things about these people and how knowing them, becoming close to them, was one of the most powerful human experiences I have had the honor to have had, but my purpose in writing this is simply to beg you, literally in the name of humanity, do not buy into the hateful idea that the process of coming here as a refugee is an easy one or a haphazard one or taken lightly by any entity involved. My purpose is to implore you that we who have so much--no matter how many bills we are stressing over--can always make room for more, that that is what we are supposed to be ABOUT as a country. I'm not even a nationalist and Zeus knows I have my share of criticisms of our country, but if I have a shred of nationalism in me, it is because I really BELIEVE in the idea that we SHOULD be a nation of people who care, who love, who are attempting to write the BOOK on second chances.


I know many of us don't like to think about or be reminded of the fact that our ancestors stole this land to begin with and then enslaved or massacred millions upon it. Of course, we can never go back and make that right again and we know it, so some of us want to say it's in the past, it's not our fault, let it go. But is it really in the past? Are our hearts clean from the selfishness and greed that caused our ancestors to act in such a despicable way? We have the chance now in this crisis, in every crisis of discrimination--at home and abroad--to show that we are willing to shed that selfish, ugly part of ourselves that would have us turn our back on suffering and say "somebody else's problem." We have the chance to prove that we CAN BE that beacon of refuge, that we DO stand beside those words on the statue of liberty, that we ARE truly courageous--not just with bluster and military superiority that for most of us is far removed from our own personal situation--but with our hearts. So, I challenge you, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and my fellow atheists, be courageous with your hearts and dare to prove your love. If you are concerned about evil and hatred reaching us here, Ive got news for you, it's ALREADY here. It's in our own hearts, in every little selfish decision, every tiny or giant step away from the idea of unity and love and compassion, every broken promise, every turned back, every furtive glance away. We are not perfect but we have the chance to be MORE perfect every day and like Michelangelo, chip away at WASN'T David, until the beautiful form slowly emerges. If you want to fight evil, if you really want to fight it, then by all means have the courage to do so within yourselves because THAT is the ONLY way it will actually be defeated. Open your hearts and keep them open, in the face of fear and threats and intimidation, in the face of violence and lies and ignorance, be truly courageous and keep them open still.

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